The pressure to make the holidays perfect can feel enormous at times. There’s the obligation to make sure all family members and guests feel welcome and happy, all of your gifts are bought and wrapped and the kids’ activities and needs are all met. 

On top of that, you’re also probably working 40+ hours a week and finding little time for yourself during the month of December.

The holidays may also be difficult for so many who have childhood wounds--who have suffered things like betrayal, shame, or abandonment.

Oftentimes, guilt can creep in from the belief that you’re not doing enough. When you feel unworthy of love, no matter how much you buy or do for others, that emptiness can still linger. The obligation also springs from feeling unworthy.

This holiday season I want to help make you feel less guilt and emptiness, and more love, acceptance, and self-confidence.

Your Therapist in Sugar Land gives 4 ways to avoid feeling guilty this Christmas…

1. Manage your expectations. Don’t plan too many things to overwhelm you. Commit to what you can, and don’t stress about the rest. Don’t stray from your health and personal goals during the festive period. Think ahead and manage your expectations in advance. You don’t have to be completely restrictive when it comes to food, treats, or other things, but don’t overindulge. 

2. Don’t give food value. So much of the guilt around the holidays comes from indulging in all of the party foods, cookies, eggnog, desserts, and more! Try to let go of categorizing food such as ‘good,’ ‘bad’ or ‘treat’ because this can give you the idea that certain things are off-limits. Restricting food like this can actually make them seem more appealing and harbor unhealthy relationships with your food choices. Choose foods in moderate portions.

3. Don’t obsess over gift-giving. Finding the perfect gifts and feeling pressure to spend money on everyone you love can be stressful. This year instead of gifts for everyone, offer to do something or provide a voucher for something like babysitting, running an errand, a special meal, or something else you know your friend/family member will love. You could also gift experiences. A day at the zoo, a trip to the botanical gardens, or even something low-key like a picnic or hike.

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare yourself to others, but also don’t compare yourself to the ghost of holidays past. You may not be the same person you were before your trial, loss, or challenging circumstance. If your life has changed, it’s not fair to compare yourself to the person you were before things changed. Remember, when holiday cards arrive, regardless of how perfect everyone’s pictures look, life just isn’t perfect for anyone. Everyone has different challenges and circumstances. 

If you’ve struggled with grief or guilt in the past, or feel overwhelmed thinking of the holidays this year, let me help! One of my favorite things about the holiday season is helping others enjoy them. 

The holidays can be an emotional trigger for some, but it doesn’t have to be. 

For more information and tips on managing your mental health, join our mailing list today!