The word codependent is usually used to describe a person who is completely, wholeheartedly dedicated to the person they are in a relationship with or dependent upon the person they have a relationship with.  It is much more than that. A codependent person will do anything to please their significant other, who is usually more than happy to take everything the “codependent” person has to offer. Oftentimes the person who is codependent works tirelessly to please the person they are in a relationship with, at their own expense, compromising what would make them happy to ensure the other person’s happiness. 

Codependency in a relationship is often a “circular relationship,” or a cycle where one partner needs the other, who in turn needs to be needed.

The codependent’s self-esteem comes from giving things up for their partner and oftentimes the relationship includes physical or emotional abuse. 

80% of the women I treat experience some sort of codependency relationship, whether it’s with a friend, romantic partner or family member. 

Some people have a hard time distinguishing whether their relationship is based on dependency or codependency… which can sometimes be confusing! However, it’s important to understand the difference between depending on another person, which is a positive experience, and codependency, which can be harmful.

Your therapist in Sugar Land explores Dependent vs. Codependent 

When a relationship is dependent, two people rely on each other equally for support and love and find happiness in the relationship. But when it is codependent, one person often feels worthless unless they are needed or make sacrifices for the other person, who gets satisfaction from getting every need met.

In a dependent relationship, both parties find common interests, friends, and hobbies and make their relationship a priority, whereas a codependent has a difficult time finding personal identity, interests, or values outside of their relationship.

One or both people can be codependent-- neglecting important areas of their life to please their partner. This causes damage to their other relationships, careers, responsibilities, and more.

Oftentimes, codependent people can end up with people with narcissistic personalities, and both can actually be linked even though they are portrayed as polar opposites.

Codependency and Narcissism explained by your therapist in Sugar Land 

Narcissism and codependency are both linked to an undefined self, or are people who struggle to understand who they are. They rely on others to define their identity and care a lot about what others think of them. 

Someone who is narcissistic focuses on themselves displays a lack of empathy for others and usually needs someone else to boost their self-esteem. 

Whereas someone with codependency is focused on serving others, controlling another person’s behaviors and craves being needed.

Your therapist in Sugar Land explores therapy for codependency and narcissism

Therapy can help for codependency and narcissism if you experience any of the following symptoms: 

• A history of abusive relationships

• Difficulty feeling close to others

• Feelings of low self-esteem

• Thinking your identity relies on what others think of you

• Feeling like you’re never thanked enough or appreciated

I help clients with narcissism and codependency understand the root of their insecurities and help them replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy behaviors. 

Talking through your experiences often helps find new ways of thinking so you can live a happier life!

If you or a loved one is concerned about being in an unhealthy relationship, give me a call today!