Are You Over-Functioning in Your Relationships? The Link Between Anxiety and People-Pleasing
Over-functioning is when you take on more responsibilities and tasks than necessary, often as a way to cope with anxiety and feel a sense of control. It’s like a classic case of wanting to prove your worth by doing everything for everyone and avoiding discomfort. For instance, you might take on extra work at the office, volunteer for every school event, or even clean up after a party instead of enjoying yourself. That’s over-functioning.
There's a connection to anxiety because the more you over-function, the more you feel like you have to keep everything in check. It’s like putting on a show of perfection because you’re terrified of things falling apart deep down. You end up carrying the world's weight on your shoulders, thinking that no one else will if you don’t do it. But in reality, that’s just feeding your anxiety, causing you to feel even more overwhelmed. It’s a vicious cycle—over-functioning leads to anxiety, and anxiety pushes you to over-function even more. It creates a bit of a mess!
Signs You're Caught in The People-Pleasing Trap
Recognizing people-pleasing tendencies is like watching a rom-com where you keep seeing the same predictable patterns. You know you’re in the people-pleasing zone when you constantly say “yes” to things you want to say “no” to. It’s like being invited to a party where you didn’t even want to go, but you can’t bear the thought of disappointing anyone.
Another telltale sign? You often apologize, even when you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s that instinct to smooth things over or avoid conflict, even if it means compromising your needs. You might feel anxious or overly responsible for how others think; if someone’s upset, you might assume it’s your fault and try to fix it. Then, there’s the need for validation. If you find yourself fishing for compliments or feeling deflated when you don’t get them, that’s a classic people-pleaser move.
Let’s not forget that nagging resentment when you go above and beyond for others but feel like it goes unappreciated. It’s like doing all the heavy lifting in a relationship and feeling like you’re not enough. But once you recognize these signs, it's like a weight has been lifted. You're free to prioritize yourself and be your own biggest fan!
How Anxiety Therapy Can Help You Set Boundaries
If you’re caught in the cycle of anxiety and people-pleasing, working with an anxiety therapist can help you break free. Anxiety therapy provides the tools to recognize unhealthy patterns, reduce anxiety, and build confidence in setting boundaries.
Anxiety therapy can help you:
Identify triggers: You’ll explore the underlying causes of your anxiety and why you tend to overfunction.
Develop coping strategies: Learn techniques to manage anxiety symptoms and reduce the need to over-perform.
Strengthen self-worth: Therapy helps you build self-compassion and recognize that your value isn’t tied to productivity.
Set and maintain boundaries: An anxiety therapist at Southern Pine Counseling will guide you in asserting your needs without guilt or fear of rejection.
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care
Setting boundaries and focusing on self-care is about reclaiming your time and energy while ensuring you don’t drown in everyone else’s needs. Think of it as coming up with the perfect game plan for your life—charts, strategies, and maybe even a bit of flair! Here are some steps from a skilled anxiety therapist to get you started:
1. Know Your Limits: First things first, take a moment to check in with yourself. What drains your energy? What makes you feel overwhelmed? Recognizing your limits is essential. It's like knowing when to put down the drink because you’ve had enough—listen to your gut!
2. Communicate Clearly: Once you know your boundaries, it’s time to speak up! Use “I” statements to express how you feel. For example, “I need some time for myself this weekend” instead of “You always want to hang out.” Be firm but kind; after all, honesty is the best policy.
3. Practice Saying No: This can be a real challenge! Start small. If someone asks for a favor and your gut says “no,” go for it! Saying “no” is like flexing a muscle—you must practice to strengthen. Remember, it doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you self-aware!
4. Schedule Self-Care: Carve out time for activities that recharge you. Make it a priority, whether it's a bubble bath, a good book, or binge-watching your favorite show with a giant bowl of popcorn. Block it out on your calendar like it’s a hot date!
5. Reflect Regularly: Take weekly time to assess your feelings about boundaries and self-care. Are you sticking to them? Are any adjustments needed? This reflection keeps you aligned with your true self—like making sure your wardrobe fits your style!
6. Surround Yourself with Support: Share your journey with friends who respect your boundaries. It can be super helpful to have people in your corner who lift you instead of dragging you down! Setting boundaries and focusing on self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup! Embrace it, and watch how your life starts to unfold much brighter.
Start Your Healing Journey With Anxiety Therapy in Sugar Land, TX
If you’re ready to break free from people-pleasing and over-functioning, anxiety therapy in Sugar Land, TX can help you find balance and peace. At Southern Pine Counseling, our compassionate therapists provide the support and tools you need to set boundaries, reduce anxiety, and prioritize your well-being. Reach out today to take the first step toward a more fulfilling and empowered life. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
1. Contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if Anxiety Therapy is right for you.
2. Begin meeting with me, Alyssia Anderson, a skilled anxiety therapist.
3. Start breaking free from people-pleasing & over-functioning!
Other Services Offered at Southern Pine Counseling
At Southern Pine Counseling, I provide tailored mental health services designed to help women heal and rediscover their inner strength. In addition to anxiety therapy for overcoming people-pleasing and over-functioning, I specialize in trauma therapy to promote resilience, ease emotional pain, and enhance overall well-being. My practice also supports clients facing challenges such as OCD, PTSD, perfectionism, and major life transitions like career changes, relocations, or shifts in relationships. Visit my blog to explore more about my therapeutic approach and how I can support your growth and healing.
